Friday, January 06, 2006

Alternate Reality: Jenna and Babs Become Patriotic


By Elaine Meinel Supkis

11 American soldiers died yesterday. Bush had a fake photo-op while they died in agony. His daughters and nephews still refuse to do their obvious patriotic duties. So here is a look at the First Couple in a fantasy where they paid the same price the average American has paid for this war.

Oh, dear! Time to dust off the Jenna/Babs memorial flags on the mantle! La, la, la! I love doing this!

Hic. Yesssh. Whossse Babs? Gimme another beer, beeeyitch.

I am so terribly happy they read "Yellow Elephant" and decided to stop being wastrels and join up to fight in Iraq! The happiest day in my life was to learn they died for America! La, la, la, la! Isn't it wonderful, dying for America? Every mother should be thrilled to lose a child in Iraq.

My Carlyle shtocks shot up. Hic. Yesssh. God blesh America. Whoopee.

Well, now when that Cindy Sheehan bitch tries to camp out at my doorstep, I can yell, "I gave at the office" back at her now! Hahahaha! This is such a relief. Everyone showers me with pity and love because I sacrificed my daughters. Now I can hold my head high and laugh at those Gold Star Mothers Against the War, right, dear?

Kin ya call Condi and ashk her if I can go to the bathroom? Burp. Got to pee.

Hahaha. I'll give you permission!

But Condi walks on my back in high heelsh. I want her to be Mommy.

Where's my Adavan? And Praxil? Did you feed them to the dogs again, dear?

Hic. What dogs?